Coping with disappointing Year 12 results

1. Explain to students that practising acceptance can help us to cope with difficult feelings such as disappointment, and can support them to build a positive mindset. Provide some examples of how to do this, such as by:

   • acknowledging your feelings

   • being kind to yourself

   • getting a perspective on the situation

   • changing up your self-talk

   • finding a creative outlet.

2. Ask students to read the ReachOut article How to cope when things feel out of your control.

3. Using the example of receiving disappointing Year 12 results, discuss the three strategies outlined in the article and how they could be beneficial in helping students to cope with disappointment:

   • 'Imagine what a role model or admired friend would do in the same situation.'

   • ‘Write down your thoughts.’

   • ‘Talk to others about how you’re feeling.’

4. Explain that these are examples of positive strategies. It’s also important to acknowledge that some strategies aren’t so useful. As a class, discuss:

   • What strategies wouldn’t be useful in dealing with disappointment? (Examples might include escaping through alcohol or drug use, excessive partying, and overworking or overtraining.)

Debrief: While practising acceptance isn’t easy, it’s an important skill for students to learn. Explain that acceptance takes practice, but the better you get at doing it, the easier you’ll find it to accept when something doesn’t go your way.

1. As a class, watch the ReachOut video Talking about failing.

2. Divide students into groups of three and ask them to think about the young person in the video who talks about their disappointing ATAR result (second case study).

3. Within each group, students role play a conversation they might have with a friend who is in a similar position at the end of Year 12. Two students have the conversation while the third observes and gives feedback. They can rotate these roles.

Note: To help students come up with conversation starters and ideas, direct them to the ReachOut article How to ask a friend if they’re okay. Some helpful tips include:

• Start the conversation with open-ended questions.

• Pay attention and check that you’ve understood them.

• Let them know you’re there for them.

• Acknowledge their feelings of disappointment.

• Ask what they think will help them to feel better.

• Ask if they’ve thought about talking to a trusted adult, friend, teacher or mental health professional.

Explain to students that self-care activities are great tools for looking after ourselves and for managing the feelings and reactions we might experience when faced with disappointment in our lives.

1. As a class, watch the ReachOut video clip Self-care.

2. Ask students to trace an outline of their hand on a piece of paper and then, on each finger, write a self-care strategy they currently use, or could use, to cope with difficult feelings. For ideas, students can read the ReachOut article How to be awesome at self-care.

3. Give students time to walk around the room and share their self-care strategies with their classmates.

4. Now ask students to trace an outline of their other hand and then to write on each finger a new self-care strategy that they learnt about from their classmates and which they feel they could use.

Explain to students that challenges are easier to manage and overcome when you feel supported and connected.

1. Ask students: ‘Who could be in your support network?’ Examples might include: friends, siblings, parents, relatives, teachers, sports coaches, community leaders and mental health professionals.

2. In their notebooks, students create a mindmap of the people in their lives that could be part of their support network.

3. Students can then expand their mindmap to include ways in which they might connect with each personal resource – e.g. visiting face-to-face, phone call, text messaging, chat space.